What Next?

Wellllllllllll, alright game plan time.  

Since the husband and I made the decision to not pursue buying this year, I’m living the quiet riding lifestyle.  I’m stealing rides on some lovely beasts who reside at the barn and reading everyone else’s blogs to fill in my horse quota.  I’m kind of in a holding pattern until I can either find a new lease, or stumble upon a similar situation for my lessons.  I have great faith that something will come wandering by, but in the meantime I have been soaking up the extra quality time with family and friends.


So it looks as if I am going to rock out as life as a lesson kid again.  I’m sad to not be riding as much as I was with Dee, but it still feels good to be riding period.  That’s what I need to focus on.

My first real lesson as a free agent was this past week, and I was so pleasantly surprised!  I always worry that since I had been riding the same horse for a long time, that I’d struggle with a new mount.  Well, my trainer must have a sense of humor because she put me on a 17hh+ red giraffe masquading as a thoroughbred.  He is long, bouncy and jumps quiet and flat.  So essentially the only thing he has in common with Dee is his species.  Ha!  But I had a blast.  And by the end I figured out how to steer again and we had some nice moments.  Not sure he’ll be a permentant fixture in my life (he has a lesser), but I was very glad for the ride.  


I’m the worst at photos. Here’s the giraffe feasting after our ride.  

This week everything will settle into my new normal, lessons midweek and hopefully a borrowed ride during the weekends when they are available.  It’s going to be good.  

BUTttttttttt if anyone knows of a magical unicorn who wants to be leased by yours truly-just let me know!  

 

Thinking Back and Forward

My current crazy train keeps going, and horses continue to be a bright spot. Lesson with bonus drinks with barn lovelies is tomorrow, so I’m real excited for that!

However, today I was going through my poor half-dead, cracked, hot mess of an iPhone to make sure I had everything backed up for my new one, and I found some pictures I just really wanted to share.  They both made my heart happy, and just a little sad.  But I think all big life changes prompt that kind of emotion!

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My Olive, the week I bought her. I was infatuated.

Seeing these photos of O and my journey, especially in the one above where we are a brand new partnership, makes me crave that relationship again.  The bad memories seem to be the first to fade for me.  I know why it was hard to be an owner – but it doesn’t seem as important as time moves on.  As my time with Dee nears it’s end, I really find myself wondering what to do next.

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O was always ready for a selfie

After some heart to heart chats with my husband, I do understand and grasp that this is not the right time to buy a horse.  Not with my career, not with some upcoming home and car improvements, it’s just not ideal.

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And I’m not willing to do anything until the situation is as near to perfect as possible – I need to set myself up for success here!

So what’s the plan?

Not a friggin’ clue.  And that’s terrifying for someone who literally plans things for a living.

I guess I’ll just have to make it up as we go!

An Exercise in Happiness

As I mentioned lately I have been stuck in this funk for a few weeks.

I usually would feel comfortable telling people that I handle stress well.  Deadlines keep me sharp, challenges are welcome, and I don’t mind being pushed.  I, at my core, am a people pleaser, and am content to work hard in the hopes of being recognized down the line.  I also admit to being stupidly hopeful that people are generally good.  Lately things, and people, have been letting me down.  I started not sleeping, grinding my teeth, and bickering with my husband.  In his endless wisdom (and ability to not get angry), he volunteered that we should talk about what was really bothering me.

So, I made a list.  Because 1) I love lists.  2) Lists can solve anything.  Specifically this is a process that I’ve gone through before whenever I have to figure out where my head is.  Half the time I stress about things, I already know the answer on how to fix them.  Seeing the answer on paper, written out – with clear directions, is a whole different thing though.  And I need that at times.

Sucky List: All the things that are upsetting me

  • People suck
  • Husband hates my haircut
  • Baby is teething / hence baby is not sleeping
  • I’m not sleeping
  • Got the bill for my little trip to the ER
  • People suck

Once they were out on paper – it looked kind of stupid that I was that worked up over all of this.  But I kept going.  Part 2 in the exercise…

Happy List: Some of the things that make me haIMG_2042ppy

  • Family
  • Horses
  • Wine (or Champagne – I’m not picky)
  • Good food
  • Cooking said good food (with glass of wine)
  • Reading

Sounds simple, but all of the things that make me happy?  They were all action items.  That week I planned a trip to the library to get more books, updated my reading apps on my phone (axis360 is a favorite), went to the grocery store and picked out my favorite recipes.

Besides the obvious, my family, I knew horses would be on my list of positives.  After my list directive, I scheduled a few lessons, grazed Dee, hacked around the farm, galloped around the front yard, and generally just immersed myself in all good things horse related.

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Selfie outtake of sorts

On the day of one of my lessons, I actually texted Trainer and told her I wasn’t sure I should ride.  Obviously confused I explained to her that you have to be able to stop angry-crying long enough to get around the arena.  She held her ground, saying that it would help.  Wellllllllllllllllll, I was running almost 30 minutes late by lesson time…I showed up, and promptly melted down…Dee’s owner and I had had a miscommunication and she’d already ridden her.  (COULDN’T HANDLE-NEEDED RIDE SO BAD)  After some texts, we figured out that she had just taken her on a bareback walk and a lesson was definitely a good idea.

I gathered what was left of my brain, and got Dee ready.  When I met the Trainer in the ring, she just said “Get on, let’s go gallop at some fences.”  And so we did.  After a easy warm-up, she set up the fences to a healthy 2’9” and sent us off.  Dee was really into it; I couldn’t stop laughing at her “being wild”.  We had some really lovely jumps, but honestly, I just remember how much fun I was having.  How stupid happy I was; laughing out loud happy.

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Stupid happy.

Anyway, I guess you are always learning to push back on the sucky parts.  But my focus should be on my bottom line – do what makes you happy.

Feeling Green

With envy that is.

I’ve been struggling with jealousy lately.  While I love my current situation with Dee, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to being envious of all those horse owners out there.  I felt ashamed of this post for awhile, seeing as I’m quite spoiled.  Yet seeing friends, on and off the internet, out doing all kinds of things, and having adventures has been hard.  Obviously I think it’s great for them.  But it makes me yearn hard for something I cannot have right now.

To cope, I then spend hours trolling dreamhorse.com and equinenow.com, sometimes Facebook, to find this mystical animal who I suddenly need so badly.  By the time I find something that might work (heavy on the “might”), I’m rooted firmly back in the real world.  It’s not the right time for us to buy.  Too much going on in work, at home, and well everywhere.  And I know that.

Knowing and accepting are two totally different things.

 

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So you’ll have to forgive me for wishing I was out there.  Wishing I had a show season to map out, clinics to go to, and plans to make for the next move up.  Maybe it’s my stupid knee, which still hurts and is keeping me from the saddle, or the fact it’s been raining for almost 3 weeks, but I’m bumming hard over here. Even my husband (happily horseless in KC) seems sympathetic to my funky mood.

I set up a much needed lesson tonight.  I need to clear my mind, as much as Dee needs the workout (probably way more).

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Viva Carlos Blog Hop: Naivete

L from Viva Carlos asks: What horse related or equestrian related piece of knowledge did you believe was true for an extended period of time that turned out to not be true?

Teenage me: Wow that horse gets injections?  That means it must be either a big time Grand Prix horse or it’s super broken.

Teenage me: Giving a horse a “cocktail” before their classes wasn’t weird or wrong.  (Obviously I was never the giver of any of these drugs, but saw it happen among the shows in our area).

Teenage me: Riders who didn’t stay in a regular program were not as devoted.

Teenage me: Jumping without a trainer present was punishable by death.

Obviously not super devoted to training here lol

Teenage me: Galloping was something only done between jumps in the medal class. Ha!

Teenage me: Your trainer is always right.

Young adult me: Buying a young prospect will alleviate my fears of health issues versus buying an older horse.

(Joke is on me)

I could go on and on about this.  It’s weird to think back about the things you used to believe.  Some of these seem stupid or crazy, but at the time I could reason with all of them.  Great topic L!  Thanks for be fun content idea!

Just a Few New Things

Since I don’t have a horse to dress up pretty, or search for tack for, I feel like I haven’t really bought any horse related items for awhile.  But I fixed that now with a few new things!

Bought: my first ever Ogilvy baby pad.  I hope it lives up to the hype!

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In action.

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Bought: Roeckls, supposedly to be saved for shows or at least summertime…except now I can’t stop using them.  In love.  Need every color.

Bought: more Riding Warehouse tees–because they are so comfortable!

Bought: Blue/Gold (barn colors) attachable reins. Halter hacks-here we go.

This was right about the time I realized I didn’t have my helmet and got back off.


In the works: Rainbow reins.  Because rainbows.  And practicing for gifts!

 

 Nothing major going down, it’s been nasty and cold lately so just kind of moseying along.  Hopefully lessons will be back in action later this week!   

 

 

Moving Right Along

We’ve got a horse show tomorrow, but I’m still riding the high from some great lessons lately.  So regardless of what happens, I’m feeling like the improvement is there.  Here’s some little clips of lessons lately…keep an eye out for:

  • Staying down and soft on the backside of the jumps.
  • Keeping Dee’s shoulders up on approach.
  • Attempting to keep my elbows in, less “chicken dance”.
  • Making a decision on distances and sticking with it.

Here we go.

I struggled at first (and struggle at the end of the other clip) with getting to this single at an odd stride.  But this one was my best ride, and really using my outside rein to keep her body straight.  Yay!

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She is adorbs.

 

Full course, complete with ugly last jump (you can see the second I waffle on my choice & pull).  Also-enjoy Dee’s pre-jump grunting! Ha!

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Eating these bigger oxers up lately. 

So there we are!  Happy with our overall picture and excited for what’s next.  Wish us luck!