I have a problem with the term FOMO (fear of missing out). It sounds weird when people say it, and I think it doesn’t really correlate the feelings of fear and desperation that comes when you say you are experiencing the fear of missing out on things. It’s a hangup, I’ll work on it. Maybe.
However, I have no other way to describe my life right now. This past week I spent with family, celebrating holidays and loving every second of our down time. It was awesome. And then I started to come back into reality and man, it’s been a rough one. It started with my barn locker. The one we are moving out of in two days. Two days, and I still have plenty of stuff to bring home and store. See I’ve been living in a loophole at the barn, being a rider, not an owner, and still having (in my opinion) one of the best lockers (hello-no locker behind it, and top row). I’ve had it since I had O, and when she left…well I just didn’t move. Having a locker used to be a big status symbol at the barn I grew up in, so I kind of felt like I was keeping my toes in the door having one now.
But it’s time. I’m making myself do it today. The new place is fantastic, but with only enough room for boarders to have lockers, this means I’m moving out. Kind of an equestrian spring cleaning, because suddenly having all my stuff in one spot will definitely demonstrate how much of it I don’t actually need. I know it’ll be good, but somehow I get stuck in the moment of “my stuff won’t be there, I’m not there, my horse-wait what horse?” and I quickly get drawn into a loop about how easy it would be to fall out of that world. Hence my FOMO spikes wildly. I know I don’t need a toe in the door anymore, or an excuse to come watch other rides and hang out. But still, I remain vaguely clingy about this stupid locker.
I know that to begin in 2018, I’ll probably be more of a spectator than a participant, and I am coming to terms with it. Just taking those steps, and taking home my locker really put it all into play. Anyone else nervous or anxious about changes for 2018?
Also, if anyone has any ideas on how to explain their hoard of equine supplies to their spouse (his garage), let me know. Poor guy said I could move into this space without really seeing how much I have!