Blog Hop: Dealbreakers

Thank you for the great writing idea Amanda.  This is a topic that I’ve been stewing over since O left in 2016, and honestly will probably continue to change and evolve even more before I do any serious horse acquisition.  But I want to keep it pretty concise today.

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Because she’s adorable.

General thoughts:

I’m not the worst rider on the planet, so I don’t mind a ride that requires some thought, or that keeps you on your toes.  Since my roots are firmly in hunterland, I will avoid something that jumps in dangerous form, or isn’t neat with it’s legs.  I’m good at hurting myself without any help from my 4-legged partner, so it has to help me out a little in this area.  In my selfish ways, I just don’t think I can do greys – because I do not have time to manage that.  I like things to be pretty…or at least brown so I don’t know how dirty they are.

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So dirty and gross – but you can’t tell (except the socks)!

Safety:

I hope this is fairly self explanatory, but I am done with the days of riding anything that something hands me the reins to.  I want to ride something that I feel like I can handle and not fear for my life the whole time.  That is not enjoyable.  So that’s a hard nope to anything that makes me question my safety.

Poor Work Ethic:

I cannot have another horse with who does not like it’s job.  It is my above all else dealbreaker.  I had a horse, who I loved, which had a bad work ethic and didn’t really enjoy her work.  Summary – it didn’t turn out well, and it totally broke my heart after months of trying and trying to convince her to enjoy the work.  I will not do that again.  Whatever horse I have next will show up for me, and be interested in it’s work.  Obviously no horse wakes up and says “golly, I’d like to work on lengthening”, but they have to play the game.  In return they will be loved, rewarded and ridden with as much skill as I can muster.

Why can’t horse sale sites have a box to search for that quality?

Should I find myself with another horse who decides it does not like it’s job, I will find it a job it does enjoy; whether it’s with me, or with another owner.  It’s not fair to do anything otherwise.

If the horse has to live inside.

Even in the Midwestern ice storms, and the summer sun, I know that to get my husband to even entertain the idea of another horse in the family that is must live the majority of it’s life outside.  I’m not interested in a great debate, he is passionate about this aspect, so I am adding it to my list.  If horse has to live inside 24/7, that is a dealbreaker.

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Doesn’t like kids.

I have one, and she’s pretty important.  I realize that she probably won’t be in the saddle as much as I am (duh), but it’s a dealbreaker if the horse is not friendly on the ground, or is difficult to manage.  I want to be able to share my riding and horses with my daughter, and I can’t do that if I am stressing the entire time horse and child are near each other.

Share your dealbreakers and join the hop!

I Had Forgotten

Since having my daughter, I've been in a consistent riding program. That all ended about a month ago when work priorities took over (for better or worse). After a week or two, I feel like my obsessive "must ride something now" kind of waned.

I was incredibly busy, and horses suddenly seemed like the one thing totally not worth it. Usually I have those moments while waiting on a vet bill, or after I couldn't catch my horse for an hour–the usual equestrian doubts. Having these doubts while just sitting at my house was a bit scary.

As I mentioned before, I'm attempting to revamp my priorities and get some time back for my goals outside of the workplace. Horses are the core of those. So back to lessons I went-no excuses.

Tacking up Cooper today, I actually felt anxious. Cooper had been inside for a few days because of all the rain, so naturally he would be a wild stallion right? (Spoiler alert-nope) Stupid thoughts. Sending my toddler with her grandpa, I swung up and warmed up the giraffe as usual.

The lesson was incredibly hard, a technical ride. Cooper was feeling spicy, but I don't mind a little play as long as it's not stupid. By the end I openly admitted that I was exhausted.

But then as soon as I loaded up the car, gave the kid some snacks, and headed home I could actually feel the buzz. Better than champagne, I kept thinking over my ride; how I could do better, what I can do in the gym to get my fitness back and so on. I realized that in the weeks away I had forgotten how much I love the smell of the barn, the satisfaction of patting your horse after your ride, or the sheer joy of sharing the place you love the most. Essentially I forgot that I do belong with horses, and on horses. It is a part of who I am, and while life is an insane roller coaster I am so lucky to continue to have horses in my world. So next time I forget, and am having all these insane-o thoughts about horses not being worth it, I should reread this post. Because they are.

Work Life Balance

I love my job.

I love the amazing opportunities I have to travel, work with great people, and create my own little identity within the cubicle world.  My company constantly places among the top 20 places to work in the US, and I’m definitely spoiled.  They give us gifts, awesome work life extras (gym, on-site day care, pharmacy, even car detailing), but lately I had felt myself really, really getting drawn in.  What I was doing was way overboard, added to the fact that May-July are huge travel months for me didn’t bode well. I found myself in a situation where I was spending what time I had at home, stressing and thinking (or emailing) about work.

From a recent Florida trip

But then…vacation happened.  Seven days of not being in the office.  Seven days of not feeling the need to be on my phone all the time, I didn’t open my laptop once, and I let the work I delegated actually stay delegated.  By the last few nights, I stopped grinding my teeth at night, slept great, and really took time to enjoy my people.

I know that busy seasons will always be busy, but this was a major wake up call for me.  As a people pleaser, I tend go far beyond what is necessary…at the expense of my work – life balance.  I need to be reminded that it isn’t worth it.  My career isn’t going anywhere, but I’m missing out on other things.  I had had to cancel several riding lessons, dinners with friends, and other things that I love.  It’s not my job’s fault, they support my personal life plenty, it is mine for not managing my priorities better.

Horse dress for the win.

So I’m updating my work life balance.  Back in lessons this week, back to being present for my family and friends, and back to myself.  I feel really good about this wake-up call and even better about my decision to stop being so neurotic about work.  And hey, maybe I’ll actually hit publish on the 5 drafted posts I never managed to complete.

I doubt the giraffe missed me, but I’m ready to ride!

It’s back to my normally scheduled horse topics next, but who else besides me gets badly wrapped up in their careers some times?