Facebook reminded me today that a year ago, I watched my little bay mare walk on to someone else trailer and head off to her new family. What I remember now is that as she pulled away is I thought that I had failed her completely and that my dreams were over.
Things are easier when you know they are the right decision. Easier. Not easy. I still miss her, and I’m lucky enough to have been able to reach out to her family a few times in the past 12 months and can report that she’s doing really great.
In the past year, I have ridden schoolies who gave me my strength back, Dee who gave me my guts back, and have found myself even more grateful for the support system I have now. It honestly has seemed like a very, very long time since I’ve owned. And while I appreciate and know the set up I have going now is working…I still miss that connection. I constantly find myself looking at sale ads, or drooling over friends’ new shiny 4-legged babies.
I know that in the past year (and maybe more), I have accepted that I really would like my next purchase to be an all around citizen. I loved that O was a neat little jumper. But you couldn’t trail ride her without risking life/limb. I loved that she would wear a western saddle and look adorable. But I want to try it all; life is too short to not try. I hope to find something that I can trail ride on, maybe foxhunt on, take to a hunter or jumper class, let my kid climb on, etc. I don’t need a hack winner at this point in my life, and I’m cool with that. Who knows what I’ll end up with, but I feel like I’m much more open to a variety of horses down the road.
So I’m celebrating my one year of horselessness with a lesson, and drinks with friends. It has been a great year, regardless of how I felt that day O left. And yes, dreams come back, even if they are a bit different than you pictured. That’s not a bad thing at all. God, I’m such a sap. Cheers ya’ll.