Sucker punch 

Last week being an equestrian was too hard.  Laugh all you want, but it was a bad week.  I got sucker punched hard in my personal, and professional worlds.  And instead of handling it like an adult, I curled up on my couch and went to sleep.  Horses fell off my radar entirely.

In fact, when I started pulling myself back to normal life, I was doubting my sanity for even wanting to be involved with horses! Who in their right mind would take on giant injury prone animals who eat money on top of all the other stuff I’m supposed to be doing.  I started to think about all the ways that I could cut ties, and how I would get rid of my stuff.  I thought about the money I could be saving.  I wonder about all the grey hairs and anxiety I am bestowing upon myself.  In short, ladies and gents, it was just too hard.  Every instinct in me flared up and told me to jump ship.

Now that it’s a new week.  And I’m feeling less like a worthless piece of poo…I understand that last week was a breakthrough in some ways.  Now I know how easy giving up would be, yet here I am, still pushing on.  That has to account for something.

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I need to remember that some days, it just isn’t going to work.  Does it mean I should scrap the past 15 years?  Probably not.  I don’t have my own horse.  And while I’m hoping Dee continues to be a great ride for me, it’s really a month by month commitment.  So I can go ahead and calm the frack down over that too.

So cheers to realizing once again that I’m not superwoman (dammit); that none of us are, but we are doing the very best we can.  Even if that means it’s too hard to horse some weeks!  It’s not always rainbows and sunshine.

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