Shame on me

I’ll admit that today was the first lesson in a long time (maybe even years) that I was frustrated to the point of wanting to cry in the saddle. I didn’t. But yes, the frustration was overwhelming!

In a good note-O was sound and looking fancy in her new shoes.
Okay now onto the potential tear inducing issues.
O has had some attitude issues lately, and I’ve met and talked to our trainer and secondary trainer/barn manager about it. Well today I think we found the root of the issue. Me. Just frickin’ great.

We discovered today that I’ve started to push/force O into a frame; and out of resentment she is acting out, being sour, and avoiding work by any means necessary. Back to the basics we go…I’m going to work on my equitation and using my seat and leg to guide her into the correct form-ASKING her, not demanding. Once I was finally able to wrap my head around it tonight she was a completely different horse. It’s 10x worse when it’s you doing something stupid that is hindering your ride.

My equitation, lord help me, is atrocious. It’s been so long since I’ve had to focus on myself, that I’ve become the problem. Definitely working on strengthening my core and being able to help to by maintaining a consistent position and feel in the saddle. By doing that I hope I’ll be able to help her balance and soften. Fingers crossed!

Now that I’ve had some time since my ride to absorb things, and am feeling a bit less like a total failure at life. I’m ready to get back on and try to reconnect with O and work on my own riding.


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